Man's Best Friend.
October 6, 2008--
It's good to be back! I hope that you have survived the oppressive humid summer months, thunderstorms, tornados and lets not forget.... the after effects of Hurricane Ike!
Who would have thought that St. Louis, Missouri right in the middle of the United States would get to experience the tail end of a hurricane!?
Not me! That and the subsequent flooding, had me beaming with pride that St. Louis had topped itself once again on the weather sucks meter.
I say bring on the meteors!
Because of the thunderstorms, tornados, floods ( and hurricanes! ), my wife said we had to keep the damn dog inside.
As a result, since I last signed off in May until now our living room has become a hideous canine public toilet.
Our carpet has been peed and pooped on for 4 straight months, which has led me to wonder, who in the hell came up with the saying that-- dogs are man's best friend?
I'm a man. I have a dog. And, my dog is NOT my best friend.
I have a lot of true friends and none of them use my sofa as a urinal.
Think about it.
I can just imagine having a conversation with Ray, one of my "real" friends....
Ray:
Gee Todd, I'm really sorry to hear about your great grandmother falling down the elevator shaft, but I'm your "best" friend and I'm here if you need me....
Me:
Thanks Ray. I really appreciate that, man. But you know, talk is cheap.
No, If you were really my best friend you'd pee all over my throw rug.
Then you would bury your head in my kitchen garbage, so that you could gnaw and spew last night's chicken bones all over my home.
Then you would have an utter spastic meltdown because somebody was innocently walking past my house on the sidewalk.
Then finally, you would stop and go poop in the corner.
You see Ray, THAT is what a man's "BEST FRIEND" would really do.
Thunderstorms are on the way. Good thing I have the carpet cleaners on speed dial.
Lot's of fun stuff on the way! Until next week (or sooner if need be!),
I hope you survive Another Day In The Gray!
E-Mail Todd
Buy Your St. Louis Weather Sucks Stuff Here.
It's good to be back! I hope that you have survived the oppressive humid summer months, thunderstorms, tornados and lets not forget.... the after effects of Hurricane Ike!
Who would have thought that St. Louis, Missouri right in the middle of the United States would get to experience the tail end of a hurricane!?
Not me! That and the subsequent flooding, had me beaming with pride that St. Louis had topped itself once again on the weather sucks meter.
I say bring on the meteors!
Because of the thunderstorms, tornados, floods ( and hurricanes! ), my wife said we had to keep the damn dog inside.
As a result, since I last signed off in May until now our living room has become a hideous canine public toilet.
Our carpet has been peed and pooped on for 4 straight months, which has led me to wonder, who in the hell came up with the saying that-- dogs are man's best friend?
I'm a man. I have a dog. And, my dog is NOT my best friend.
I have a lot of true friends and none of them use my sofa as a urinal.
Think about it.
I can just imagine having a conversation with Ray, one of my "real" friends....
Ray:
Gee Todd, I'm really sorry to hear about your great grandmother falling down the elevator shaft, but I'm your "best" friend and I'm here if you need me....
Me:
Thanks Ray. I really appreciate that, man. But you know, talk is cheap.
No, If you were really my best friend you'd pee all over my throw rug.
Then you would bury your head in my kitchen garbage, so that you could gnaw and spew last night's chicken bones all over my home.
Then you would have an utter spastic meltdown because somebody was innocently walking past my house on the sidewalk.
Then finally, you would stop and go poop in the corner.
You see Ray, THAT is what a man's "BEST FRIEND" would really do.
Thunderstorms are on the way. Good thing I have the carpet cleaners on speed dial.
Lot's of fun stuff on the way! Until next week (or sooner if need be!),
I hope you survive Another Day In The Gray!
E-Mail Todd
Buy Your St. Louis Weather Sucks Stuff Here.
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