Lunch In The Park
March 13-- It's gray again. Yesterday, during our brief experience of sun I thought it would be fun to eat lunch outside.
So, I packed a peanut butter sandwich and Budweiser tall boy and headed up to the park.
The picnic tables in the park had all been stacked up for winter, except for one by the giant sliding board. A woman and her young son were sitting at the end, but I asked if they would mind if I sat down. She said "no", so I popped open my Bud and unwrapped my sandwich.
"What are you eating?" the woman asked. "A peanut butter sandwich," I replied. The woman shot from the bench like she had just received a jet fuel enema. "You have to MOVE!" she yelped. "My son is allergic to NUTS!"
"I'm sorry," I mumbled with peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth. "Would it be OK if I just moved further down?"
"NO!" she insisted. "What kind of BREAD is that on your sandwich?"
"It's stale white bread," I replied.
"Leave NOW!" she screamed, waking up the old man in his pajamas sleeping next to the restroom. "My son is ALSO allergic to GLUTEN! He's on a STRICT gluten free diet!"
I tried to explain that I didn't plan to share my sandwich with her son, but at that point, he starting bouncing around and chasing his butt under the table. "What the hell is he doing?" I asked.
"He has A.D.D." she said. "Attention Deficit Disorder. That's why he's not in school right now. We're going to the doctor. He can't pay attention in class and gets terrible grades!"
I told her I had the same problem as a kid, but they just diagnosed me as being "stupid". Franticly, she pulled her rather defective child from under the table and stormed off, tripping in the rubber mulch pit on the way.
I finished my sandwich and sat on the swing with my 24 oz tall boy. A five year old with dried snot under his nose asked me what I was drinking. "A Bud tall boy," I replied. "And if you're allergic you can just go play on the slide."
Rain AND possible snow on the way! I hope you survive Another Day In The Gray !!
E-Mail Todd
Click HERE For Your " Official " St. Louis Weather Stinks Stuff!!
So, I packed a peanut butter sandwich and Budweiser tall boy and headed up to the park.
The picnic tables in the park had all been stacked up for winter, except for one by the giant sliding board. A woman and her young son were sitting at the end, but I asked if they would mind if I sat down. She said "no", so I popped open my Bud and unwrapped my sandwich.
"What are you eating?" the woman asked. "A peanut butter sandwich," I replied. The woman shot from the bench like she had just received a jet fuel enema. "You have to MOVE!" she yelped. "My son is allergic to NUTS!"
"I'm sorry," I mumbled with peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth. "Would it be OK if I just moved further down?"
"NO!" she insisted. "What kind of BREAD is that on your sandwich?"
"It's stale white bread," I replied.
"Leave NOW!" she screamed, waking up the old man in his pajamas sleeping next to the restroom. "My son is ALSO allergic to GLUTEN! He's on a STRICT gluten free diet!"
I tried to explain that I didn't plan to share my sandwich with her son, but at that point, he starting bouncing around and chasing his butt under the table. "What the hell is he doing?" I asked.
"He has A.D.D." she said. "Attention Deficit Disorder. That's why he's not in school right now. We're going to the doctor. He can't pay attention in class and gets terrible grades!"
I told her I had the same problem as a kid, but they just diagnosed me as being "stupid". Franticly, she pulled her rather defective child from under the table and stormed off, tripping in the rubber mulch pit on the way.
I finished my sandwich and sat on the swing with my 24 oz tall boy. A five year old with dried snot under his nose asked me what I was drinking. "A Bud tall boy," I replied. "And if you're allergic you can just go play on the slide."
Rain AND possible snow on the way! I hope you survive Another Day In The Gray !!
E-Mail Todd
Click HERE For Your " Official " St. Louis Weather Stinks Stuff!!
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